Crack Them Up With These Funny Wedding Card Messages

There’s nothing more joyful than a wedding, where two people vow to annoy each other for the rest of their lives! This list of 50 funny wedding card messages will give you a good laugh and hopefully some inspiration for the big day.

Funny wedding wishes

  • “Congratulations on your wedding! May you always find joy in the little things, like free food and booze at the reception.”
  • “Weddings: the only time you can buy a woman a kitchen appliance and not face repercussions! Best wishes!”
  • “Good luck convincing each other that your way is the best way for the rest of your life.”
  • “Happy wedding day! Let the ‘funny wedding messages’ chapter of your life begin!”
  • “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. But hey, there’s cake!”
  • “Lifetime of happiness? You’ve clearly never had to share a remote.”
  • “Congratulations on upgrading from being best friends to a married couple. New software installed successfully!”
  • “A funny wedding card for my favorite drama school dropouts. Break a leg!”
  • “Happy couple, enjoy your new life as life partners in the circus of life.”
  • “In marriage, the only difference between freedom and prison is that in prison you get free food.

Make them laugh

  • “Wishing you late nights of… discussing who left the cap off the toothpaste.”
  • “Getting married is like attending a drama school. Your role? The new circus master.”
  • “Congratulations on signing the most important contract of your life without even reading it.
  • “Best wishes on your wedding day! Remember, happiness is a journey, not a destination. Unless the destination is the fridge.”
  • “Here’s to a lifetime of love, laughter, and actually putting your phone down to talk.”
  • “Congrats! You’ve just gained a new family member to argue with at Christmas.”
  • “Congratulations! The most stressful day of your life is over… Now welcome to the rest of your life.”
  • “Happy wedding day! Welcome to the club of ‘No more late-night parties.'”
  • “Remember that marriage is like software updates. You may need to reboot occasionally.”
  • “Marriage is like a well-constructed house. It may look perfect on the outside, but inside, it’s full of nuts and bolts. Best of luck!”
  • “Welcome to the great institution of marriage, or as I like to call it, the drama school for adults.”
  • “So you thought getting engaged was a big surprise? Wait till you see what married life has in store for you!”
  • “May your marriage be filled with laughter, love, and a lenient memory for past mistakes.”
  • “May your married life bring you much joy… and even more patience.”
  • “Welcome to the world of married life, where the words ‘I’m sorry’ will become a regular part of your vocabulary.”
  • “Congratulations! Remember, a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person, and never at the same time as football season.
  • “Marriage – an institution where a man loses his Bachelor’s degree, and a woman gains her Master’s. Best wishes!”
  • “Newly married couple alert! The circus has officially begun!”

And a few more

  • “Marriage: A great way to annoy your best friend for the rest of your life.”
  • Enjoy your new chapter of life, where ‘well wishes‘ becomes ‘well, I wish you’d stop doing that’.
  • “There’s a reason why it’s called ‘ ‘falling in love’. It’s all downhill from here. Congratulations!”
  • “Best wishes on your wedding! As a distant relative, I’m just here for the cake.”
  • “Here’s a wedding gift – a book on ‘How to be right all the time’. Every married person needs one.”
  • “Congratulations on finally finding that special person you will annoy for the rest of your life.”
  • “As a married couple, the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once.”
  • “Remember, marriage is a drama school where the final exam never ends. Good luck!”
  • “Wishing you a lifetime of love… or until you find each other’s habits unbearable.”

Funny wedding wishes

  • “Congratulations on becoming the latest member of the ‘I survived my wedding day’ club.”
  • “Happy wedding day! Just think, if you survive this, you can survive anything.”
  • “May you both stay madly in love for the rest of your life… or at least until you can’t stand the snoring.”
  • “Congratulations on your wedding! From here on out, you no longer have to hold in your farts.”
  • “A wedding ring: the world’s smallest handcuff. Congratulations on your life sentence!”
  • “Now that you’re married, the key to a long, happy life is a short memory. Congratulations!”
  • “The secret of a happy marriage: As long as you both shall live, remember the two magic words – ‘Yes, dear’.”
  • “Marriage is all about give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.”
  • “Here’s to a lifetime of love, adventures, and countless discussions about what to eat for dinner.”
  • “Congratulations on finally getting your favorite person to annoy for the rest of your life.”
  • “The best part of your special day? The free booze and the cake obviously.”

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